Friday, September 20, 2013

Depression and Writing

I suppose some of you have noticed that I haven't posted anything on my progress for the last couple days. For a change it wasn't because of a messed up schedule. Not even the fact that I had to reformat and re-install Windows on my computer last night. Nope. Worse, my old foe, the depression monster has returned.

It was first triggered by falling behind a bit in my word goal, which wasn't so bad to begin with. Normally, it'd be no big deal, just pick up where I left off and catch up in the next day or two. But then, I fell into a writing rut and wondered what was wrong. I tried to force it, but that didn't go well. Which brought out my inward editor and suddenly everything I wrote seemed to be either out of character, too angsty, or my cursor taunted me as nothing was written while hours passed me by. Then, feeling rather stressed and angry with myself at this point, every other issue that's been hovering in the back of my mind for the last month came down on me like a pile of bricks when I'm already in the sinking sand pit. As fun as depression is, I won't bore you by going into it.

Anyway, I figured out what was wrong, at least in part. I'd lost my vision in what I've been writing. So many unexpected changes have happened in my first book in my series since I first wrote up my scene sequence, that it is no longer applicable or relevant. Therefore, I'm floundering and directionless because I don't know where I'm going from there. I can pants a scene, to a degree, but I cannot pants a story, much less a series. In addition, both my standalone and my short story haven't even had a scene sequence written for them at all, with several key points up in the air, so more depression-inducing lost-ness.

I'm NOT giving up on my writing or my challenge. But sometimes, the best thing to do for your writing is to just step back and figure out why it's not working and for me, it's a lack of a relevant scene sequence/timeline/plot outline. I won't not be writing during this time, but I'm not going to be putting any goal lines on what I do until I find my way back out of my depression and back on the 'write' track. I'm hoping my emotions and my writing will be more manageable within a week or less and I'll be pushing the 'final' date forward on my writing challenge by however many days ends up being equal to my recuperation. If I do any blogging during that time, it will likely be either my personal thoughts on something or other, not writing progress. Please bear with me peeps.

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